Dock Diaries: The Making of Captain Tony

I rock from side to side, sickness rising in my stomach. Do not throw up, I tell myself. You're with clients. Not that my spewing would surprise them. They've watched me stagger around like a rum-soaked sailor for at least half an hour. 

Then my legs give way, and I crash face-first into the wall. I lie there, battered. 

"Are you okay, Tony?"

I look up at the owner of the outstretched hand. 

"Ready to go again?" they ask, helping me back to my feet. 

I may be down, but I'm not defeated.

"Sure," I say. "Same again?"

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I didn't expect to spend a September day clinging to the side of a 41-foot yacht like a Poundland James Bond. But when a client calls and says, "We've got a spare seat in The Silicon Cup, do you fancy it?", you don't turn it down. 

Especially when it's Simpson Associates, a business Dock has worked with for almost a decade.

The original plan was to go out for team drinks. But when Simpson's marketing department was chosen to represent the company in the annual yacht race from Portsmouth to the Isle of Wight, they extended the invitation to me. It was the company's way of recognising the team for a strong year, fuelled in part by Dock's work across its website and SEO.. 

So instead of going for a pint, I headed south to get sloshed around by The Solent.

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Though it’s a networking event and charity fundraiser, the Silicon Cup is taken very seriously. Proper big businesses like Google, Cisco and Salesforce turn up in company-branded Helly Hansen. You know the kind, looking like they've stepped out of a sailing catalogue. Not like our team – most of whom had never set foot on the Mersey ferry, let alone a racing yacht. 

But after a crash course in knots, winches, ropes, and balancing the boat, Simpson Associates and Co. (me) were as ready as we'd ever be. 

Seventeen yachts sprinted from the starting line, heading out into open water. 

It started well enough. But soon the boat was tilting so sharply we were almost horizontal. Our crew slid from port to starboard and back again. Ducking, jumping, falling, ricocheting around our life-sized pinball machine. 

Thigh strains, banged backs, bruised egos. Hilarious, frightening chaos. 

Our finishing position wasn't exactly memorable. But we're not sailors, we're marketers. 

And as all good marketers know, every experience needs a lesson for LinkedIn. 

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There were members of the Simpson Associates marketing team I'd barely spoken to before. Soon, we were sharing gloves, hauling ropes, shouting 'Tack!', and grinning through near-capsize catastrophes. 

People always talk about being in the same boat. It turns out, literally sharing a yacht does something to a relationship. 

When you've crawled beneath a sail together, gripping a handrail for dear life lest you be lost to the sea, suddenly there's no need for formality on conference calls. You stop being the digital agency and become someone your clients can be open and honest with. 

Watching each other perform Daniel Craig-esque crawls under a sail helps you earn trust in a way that even delivering the last big project can't. 

The charity dinner that evening raised money to teach inner-city kids how to sail (helped in part by my winning bid for a signed cricket bat). And that's where it clicked. 

Shared experiences beat shared spreadsheets every time. 

We’ve already got form on the water, Gav and Jack did a dragon boat race with Roberts Recycling for Zoe’s Place earlier this year. Maybe next year Dock will enter our own yacht and challenge Simpson Associates head-on. 

Our relationship is strong enough to survive a thrashing either way. 

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